Big Girls Don't Cry
by Angels Falls8
Summary: What happens when the world you knew gets turned upside down? Follow Sakura on a journey of the heart and soul...as she finds her place in this world and the love she's always wanted.
1. Chapter 1

Big Girls Don't Cry

**Chapter 1 – Broken Blossom**

I studied the Shogi board carefully; fully aware that one wrong move and the game would be over, as they say. Nara Shikamaru took no prisoners when it came to this game. There is a reason why he is an elite Anbu tactician. Of course, I saw one way out of the trap; a radical move, that it was, it would either be brilliant, or fail miserably. I took one deep breath and prepared to move. So, you can imagine my surprise when a shrill voice called out: "Kami Sakura! Just move the damn piece already, or we'll be here all night!And some of US have a date!" 

"Relax Ino, damn troublesome woman . the game is almost finished, and then we can go out on our date," The laconic reply came from Shikamaru. Ino narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend of three years, and I knew trouble was brewing. "Shikamaru, why don't we just leave the board and continue another day" I asked. Ever the peacemaker, yep, that's me. Therefore, you can imagine my astonishment when my best friend rounded on me next.

"Hey billboard-brow, maybe if you spent less time hanging out with my boyfriend, you could find a man of your own. Why do you insist on playing Shogi with him all the time? Ever heard of the expression "two's company and three's a crowd"? Can't you just give us time to be a couple?" Ino's expression looked close to tears. I felt bad, but hurt. Why didn't she talk to me before if she felt this way? I played with Nara because Kakashi suggested it to help improve my tactical training. I never meant to be intrusive. I walked to her front door and opened it. "Gomen na sai Ino, I didn't mean to intrude." Maybe I should have stood and worked it out, but at that moment, I had to leave.

Turns out I should have stayed. It was the beginning of the end. I know your thinking, "Pessimistic isn't she?" Well, then you be the judge. I left a message on Ino's anwering machine that she never answered that night. 

When I woke up the next morning, I went to the flower shop to talk to Ino, who wasn't there. Her mother, who was always nice to me, was downright frosty. I should say that Mrs. Yamanaka has always been like a second mother to me. So imagine how perplexed I was by her reticence to speak to me. It should have been my first clue, but I so preoccupied with finding Ino and making things right that I ignored it. 

My second big clue of the day came in the shape of a 6'0" shinobi named Naruto. We were supposed to meet for ramen before my shift at the hospital. The baka was late, that in itself was unusual. Naruto and missed ramen did not go together in a sentence. After 5 minutes of waiting, I was irritated. After 10 minutes, I began to worry. After 15 minutes, I was in the first stirring of panic mode. 

As I started to turn towards the Hokage tower, I felt the familiar presence of chakra. "Naruto, where the hell have you been? I've been waiting almost twenty minutes here!" When I looked up into his face I expected to see chagrin, or even nervousness. I didn't expect to see sorrow. "Sakura-chan, I just came by to tell you that I wouldn't be able to meet you for ramen today" was the soft reply. I shrugged, "No big deal, we can meet tomorrow." With a deep breath, his head lowered even more, as he gently broke his news; "I'm afraid I won't be able to make it tomorrow either. You see Sakura, Ino called Hinata about some stuff, and well ... the outcome was that Hinata wanted me to stay away from you, and she said her father did too. Normally, I would tell them to go stuff it, but I want to ask for Hina's hand in marriage, so I have to make a good impression. You understand don't you Sakura-chan?" 

Yeah I understood. I understood that somehow Ino had done a hatchet job on me. And that Hinata still wasn't secure with Naruto's love. I didn't say any of it though; I wanted him to be happy. Kami knows after the life he had, he deserved it. I bowed my head low so he couldn't see the tears that welled in my eyes. "Of course I understand Naruto, and good luck with your courting." 

Not giving him a chance to respond, or for my tears to continue to well up, I disappeared in a flurry of sakura petals. I went home to change into my medic uniform. And there, in front of the house that I grew up in, was my stuff in bags. There was my mother, waiting for me outside the house, a bitter expression on her face. She handed me my bags and an envelope, never bothering to speak or acknowledge me. Dragging the bags under a tree, I opened the letter. 

_Sakura,_

_Your father and I never understood your wanting to become a shinobi__ but we supported it. Nor were we weren't thrilled when you were teamed with the Uchiha child and the nine-tailed demon__ Uzumaki. Later__ the choice of mentor and the field you chose, well frankly__ they baffled us. Although she is Hokage your shisou drinks and gambles. Your other sensei walked around reading Icha Icha Paradise books and didn't have care who was around. _

_Until you the Haruno clan has always been merchants at heart. But you walked a different path. Now__ we have resigned ourselves to your choices in life, no matter how much we don't approve or understand them. __H__owever__ we can't support or abide having a child so self-centered. Yes a woman that is a selfish friend__ who only thinks of her self__ and refuses to respect other couples commitments to each other. _

_We pray to Kami__ that you wake up and start caring for the friends who have always been there for you, as well as bringing honor to the Haruno clan._

_Mom & Dad_

Just wonderful! First, my two best friends, now my family! What else could go wrong? How stupid, you ask fate a question and she answers. I found out the answer as soon as I got to work. All my appointments had been 'cancelled', the messages on my extension ranged from polite to outrage. Apparently none of the kunoichi wanted a whore like me caring for their medical needs, or that of the males in their lives. Amazing, I was the first virginal whore in the village of Kohana! The chief of staff agreed also, that maybe it would be better if I took an 'administrative' leave, since I wasn't being productive and contributing toward the financial aspect of the hospital, I was released of duty until such time that I was reinstated. 

Let's recap:

Two best friends, well they were not speaking to me. One for unknown reasons, and the other well he threw me over for the love of his life.

My family, hell they disowned me, not that they ever quite got me. But at least I used to have parents.

Place to live, oh that's right I'm currently homeless and jobless. Well not completely homeless if you count the great outdoors.

Kohana General has laid me off on an "administrative leave". Maybe sometime in the future I can get a job scrubbing toilets.

\/p

My last stop for the day was the Hokage's Tower. Yep, glacial treatment from the receptionist, and let's not forget Shizune-san avoiding my eyes as she spoke to me, before admitting me into Tsunade-sama's office. Why the Hokage's office you ask? Well, if I had no place to live and just the money in my pockets, I had to do something. So, you can imagine my surprise when I asked for a mission and I was turned down! 

"Sakura, I'm sure that you are aware of that as of recently, none of the shinobi's on active duty will work with you. And there are no single missions that I can give you. Honestly Sakura! Of all the people to pull a stunt like this, well, you Sakura weren't even on the list. I knew you had a love-hate relationship with Ino, but not respecting her relationship with Nara! As your teacher, I am very disappointed in you. Hopefully, when this all blows over you can resume your life, and start to build up the trust of your peers." Tsunade said wearily, as she rubbed her forehead. 

Had she looked up, she may have seen the tear that fell unbidden from my eye. If she looked up, she might have caught the hand that shakily untied my hiate and let it fall to the ground, as I disappeared in a flurry of petals. She may have even heard the soft tinkle as it landed on the floor. But she never did look up...

On my way out of the village I ran into Lee. Loud, boisterous and youthful Lee who always greeted me with such zeal. What a juxtaposition it was to see a calm and serious Lee approach me in light of all that had occurred recently. He opened his mouth to speak to me, when Tenten ran over and grabbed him. Such a venomous look she shot me. And the fierce heart that beat within my chest cracked a little bit more. I left the village with all due intent to never return. Why fight to protect a village where I would be reviled for something I did not do? Persecuted for a crime I did not commit?

In the Forest of Death, a person could get lost here; a person can find themselves here. Just ask any genin who took the chunin exams. Yes, there was a lot a person could do. Including camping out in the middle of the night, half hoping that something did come and eat her. As least then, a purpose would have been served. 

Eight years ago, Uchiha Sasuke left our village to go to Orochimaru with the goal of gaining power. Gain power he did, enough so that one night he killed Orochimaru and left. Rumors ran rampant over the carnage found in the snake sannin's lair. The Anbu who found it still suffer nightmares.

Nothing was heard for a year, until word came that Uchiha Itachi had been brutally slain by his brother. Some of the villagers were expecting Sasuke to come back. But deep down inside, I knew that he would never willingly return to this village. This village held too many memories for him. It held his deepest heartache and his wounded pride. He is the Kage of the Sound Village now, with a wife and child. By all accounts, he is happy. 

But when he left, a purpose was born in me. I loathed being the weakest of Team 7, and so I approached Tsunade-sama to become her apprentice. I also stopped ignoring Naruto, and began to appreciate him. The friendship we developed was as close, if not closer than siblings. Ties that bind, ties that can be broken as was just proven. And now, once again I was on my own, left behind trying to pick up the pieces of a broken life. I thought I was a good Kunoichi, a good Medic-nin, a good daughter, and a good friend. I guess I thought wrong. 

Had I, in my smug superiority actually tried to steal Shikamaru from Ino? Was I so untrustworthy that Hinata whom I helped get together with Naruto would repudiate my friendship? That Lee and Tenten would think so low of me, that Tsunade and Shizune would not even ask what happened. Something, yes something about me while not starting the horrid rumors had invited people to believe the worst.

I reclined there on the damp moss, trying to stir enough energy so that I would get up and light the fire. Eventually, freezing cold, and dampness forced me to kindle a small fire. I ate and drank on auto pilot. Being emotionally numb had its uses. For instance, instead of having the breakdown I so deserved, I, Haruno Sakura,am sitting here, eating and drinking my dinner. Not bad, eh? 

The old me would have been in tears, maybe even a might hysterical. But every fool knows that big girls don't cry. 

Let me tell you a story, a biography if you will...

Once upon a time there was a kunoichi who was weak and always had to be saved, saved from the children who made fun of her pink hair and wide forehead that she was born with. Yes saved from the Sound team that attacked her in the forest of death, and saved from a sand demon that trapped her. The prince charming that she fell in love never loved her back. In fact he couldn't stand her and was often rude and callous in his treatment of her. One day her prince charming broke her heart, he left the village and her behind to pursue a dream. Weary and heartbroken the kunoichi vowed that never again would she be weak, nor would she ever let her heart be broken so deeply by a man. 

So want to know the irony of it all? The kunoichi's heart was broken far worse by those who she thought loved her. Friends, family, mentors and villagers; yes somehow they had wrecked her heart with more precision than ever before. Love really is a battlefield.

Finally, after many hours I fell into a restless sleep, still half hoping the things that go bump in the night, would get me..

I wondered as I drifted off to sleep, would he notice my absence? Would he even care? 

* * *

Don't forget to review!


	2. Chapter 2

Big Girls Don't Cry

Big Girls Don't Cry

Chapter 2 – Fools rush in

Waking up in the forest of death all by your self is not an experience that I want to repeat. I'd like to say that awareness snapped on instantaneously like a true Kunoichi, but it didn't.

The cold hard ground…

The eerie silence….

The ominous presence…

And the feel on sunshine on my face….

Several moments of information trickling into my brain brought back yesterday's debacle and wakefulness. With my full awareness came the need to plan. After all, as 'luxurious' as my current abode was, it was late fall and the nice weather would not hold out forever. To be honest I was never much a nature girl. Give me a choice between camping and a nice hotel, the hotel always won.

Since my parents had 'nicely' decided to keep my bank book, I had no access to my funds. So going back to town was out. I refused to go and beg for my money. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Let them keep the money for raising me. Realistically I wasn't too thrilled with that option; I worked damn hard for my nest egg.

Yesterday's reaction had been disbelieve and hurt. Today was all about the rage. Anger makes a much better traveling companion than hurt and pain. Trust me anger keeps you warmer!

I quickly sketched out the forest on the ground from memory trying to figure out which direction to head and what village to try and get to. Mist was out, we were enemies after all. The Village in Waterfall was an option, but too many people knew me there. The Hidden Sand Village was out for that exact reason. This left me with Fire, Sound, Wind and Stone. Fire was a definite maybe. Sound, well I'd rather wait for the first snow to kill me than beg Uchiha for sanctuary. Wind and Stone there were the most unknown.

After a quick breakfast I gathered my stuff and began my trek. I wished I could appreciate the beauty of the forest, but to me it held too many dark memories. Sasuke being cursed by Orochimaru, him snapping the arms of the sound nin who tried to kill me. Naruto being beaten, team Ino-Shika-Cho having to save Lee and myself. These events led to the eventual death of the Third Hokage. Nope this forest would never hold happy memories for me as it did for Anko. Anko liked pain and suffering, so the forest just flat out did it for her. Wonder how in the hell she ended up with Iruka?

You'd think that I would remain vigilant; you might have even thought I would look out for traps. But you would be wrong, dead wrong as it turns out. Running at a good clip and thinking a mile a minute I got scratched by a strange looking branch. When I stopped to investigate (yes I did the rookie mistake) that's when all hell broke loose. As my blood fell to the ground I could feel a chakra seal activating. I tried to jump away to no avail. Bright dark violet and malevolent looking chakra flared, and then I saw nothing.

_Hours later……._

This time awareness flooded back instantly, as did the pain. Looking at the ground besides me I could see where I bled out. Not enough to be consider a mortal wound, but not a damn paper cut either. I raised my hand to heal myself when I noticed, no chakra.

What in the hell was going on? I was lying in the center of a large seal, nothing of the likes that I had ever seen before. Intricate kanji written by an eloquent hand had inked out a seal that gave no clue as to its purpose. The most dangerous kind of peril is the type you can't see coming. The chakra involved was malignant and yet somehow familiar. I dragged myself to the edge and held my breath as I prepared to cross the boundary. Sighing in relief that the seal was not meant to contain me within.

Wondering still what in the hell it was meant to do. I should have known better to ask. After all Fate, Kami and Luck are all related in my mind. And all three are capricious and vindictive bitches with a wicked sense of irony and humor as I soon to find out. Slumped against a base of a tree trying to recover it began.

Vision after vision of friends, family, mentors and loved ones visited to spew vile and hateful allegations at me. Sasuke who sneered at me for my inability to make him stay, telling me how unworthy of love I was. Asking how I could expect a weakling like me to be admirable enough to garner any affection from the Uchiha clan.

Next came Ino telling me how could I, that's right I expect any man to look at me when compared to her. Wasn't I dumb enough to help the only two nins who liked me get other girlfriends? Loser that I was I hung around couples always being the third wheel. Who could love a freak who never bothered to try to dress up and at least look like she cared? Nobody wanted the village tomboy. Good thing I had long hair or else someone might mistake me for a boy from my lack of curves.

Then Hinata arrived and accused me of trying to steal Naruto back. Not that he would go back. Who wanted to be loved by a physically abusive woman who couldn't communicate any other way than her fist? Hadn't I always put him last in my affections and wants? Did I ever see him as more than a burden?

Naruto dropped in calling me a whore who wanted to wreck the one thing that finally made him happy. Hadn't he stood by me through thick and thin? How many times was he expected to save my ungrateful ass? Didn't he almost die trying to bring back the village idiot who left for more power? Well no more, he would protect his new and only love.

The most terrible person to face was me, inner Sakura. How could I a genetic freak with pink hair expect anybody to love me? I argued that Neiji loved me! Really she sneered, if Hyuuga Neji was not ashamed of me he would have at least been seen in public with me. Could I name one date not done under the cover of darkness? No because one does not take a fuck buddy out. One does not attempt to woo a booty call. It wasn't Naruto that was dead last, it was me.

My parents never thought I should become a ninja. Why couldn't I be content with being a merchant? Unusually strong, I was the source of all their discomfort. All they wanted was a normal daughter. Why did Kami give them me instead? I should be thinking of settling down and having kids, not medical stuff and assassination. When other girls had been playing house or with dollies I was learning how to hone a kunai. Honestly all this coming down on me was Kami's will for being such an obstinate daughter.

My first Sensei didn't think I was worthy of training. Indeed all his knowledge, all his focus was for the Uchiha. Naruto lucked into training with the Toad Sannin. Kakashi looked at me as his cross to bear. Why did Iruka-Sensei give him suck a rabid fan girl who refused to develop her talents? He could never decide what was worst fawning over Sasuke or beating up on Naruto.

Oh don't get me wrong Tsunade-sama trained me to be a top medic. Precise chakra control and an unrivaled knowledge of the human body were lessons drilled into me daily. But what use was it being able to heal, indeed even bring back someone from the brink of death, when you can't fix yourself?

As I lay there with my specter's who visited me, I lost track of time. Eventually I lost track of myself. Initially I repudiated the statements, protested on my behalf. As the torture ran on, I just gave up. How can you fight for survival when your spirit is wounded? Intellectually I knew none of this was real. I knew I should fight. I mean really what kind of Kunoichi was I to just lay down and die?

Pulling myself to my feet I began to move, painful inch by painful inch. Nobody may have loved or even liked me, but by golly Haruno Sakura was no fucking quitter! Ironically I thought to myself that at this pace it would take forever and day to get out of this Kami-forbidden forest! I almost wished for Naruto's quick healing properties. As you all know if wishes were horses we'd all have rides. B

Black spots danced across my vision. I needed to rest soon. Looking around I spotted some herbs used for sealing wounds and preventing infection. What? You thought I used chakra for everything? Hello sometimes even I run out of chakra, and if your wound is not life threatening you can heal the normal way. I took the plants and found two clean flat rocks. Using a bit of my water and a rag I cleaned the wound and spread the paste I had made on it.

Motherfucker that stuff stung! I bit my lip as my eyes watered, trying to remember to breathe. I wanted to scream, but only a complete idiot gives away their position. Finally the pain ebbed to a workable level. Weary down to my soul I wanted to stop, but even in pain I realized the blood would attract some unwanted attention.

Onward and upward as they say, or maybe just let the journey continue. I really missed being able to dash along in the tree. But no chakra equaled the normal way of transportation. So walking it was. The seal whatever it was well let's say it was also siphoning my strength. If it kept up at this rate by the end of the week I would be dead. True I could have opted to return to the village for treatment. But dead on your feet does not equal good judgment calls.

I deemed myself far enough from my blood drops to take a quick rest. Sitting down I was soon lost to a fever, hallucinations and tremors. I had my week don't get me wrong. But I seriously doubted I would leave this spot. Briefly I wondered if anybody noticed I was gone. Which brought me to thoughts of him; I wished that he could have loved me, even a little. I wept for a future that I would never have.

At twenty one years of age I was not ready to die. Deep down inside I could admit I wanted a husband and children. I wanted to become the head Medic of the village. I wanted to be loved and respected. How in Kami did it get to this? Did Ino finally lose her mind? There is a list of people that I expect to at any given time fuck me over. Ino was not on that list; come to think of it none of my friends were on it. Maybe it was time for a new list.

It's funny what you think of when you're dying. For dying I was. I was medic enough to recognize the signs. Slow irregular heart rhythm, compromised breathing, high fevers none of that spelled speedy recovery. I began to cry. Damn it if I was going to die I wanted to see Neiji one last time. I wanted one last kiss goodbye, one last hug before I died in the forsaken forest.

Wanting something as bad as I did Neji became the star of a recurring hallucination. But gone was my tender lover. This Neji was bitter and wondered how I could even for one moment think that I was valuable enough to carry the next generation of Hyuuga's.

Somewhere deep down inside I whimpered. Kami make it stop! Please make it stop. Gone was hope that anybody would rescue me. Gone was my pride, and with that release came the sudden knowledge that Orochimaru had left one final gift in the Forest of Death. How like him to torture a person to death instead of delivering a quick clean death. What luck I had!!


	3. Chapter 3

Big Girls Don't Cry

Author's Note:

I'd like to thank all who reviewed. It keeps me fueled! And my most humble apologies for misspelling Neji. Big Girls Don't Cry

**Chapter 3: Quiet Rage**

I ran full tilt, jumping from tree to tree in my haste to get back to Kohona, no to get back to her. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at my teammate. For this particular mission Hokage-sama had paired me with Hatake Kakashi. Why this exact team you ask? Well Hatake Kakashi was the silent assassin, and I, well I was the scouting force, able to see traps and troop movements from far away.

After all when you're all set to assassinate a rising leader of the Mist village with delusions of sumptuousness nobody wants to get caught. You know the whole, 'we will disavow any knowledge of you should you get caught' bit. Trust me, you don't want to get caught. Between going full throttle I was going over our mission. Looking out the corner of my eye, I spied Kakashi reading Icha Icha Come Undone. How in the world did that man read porn and not miss a damn branch?

Better yet, how to reconcile the laconically lazy nin who reads porn against the animalistic fury that I witnessed. One moment he was relaxed against a tree and the next he exploded into motion. Even I who am hard to impress could not control my credulity, it was easy to see why they name him the copy-nin. He possessed such speed and precision when copying enemy jitsu's, well that it was amazing. So effortless it looked, the enemy swore he was doing it on purpose to make them look stupid.

For those of you who witnessed Uchiha Sasuke's Chidori, to the actual living legend wielding it, it was like comparing paint by number to an Ushio Shinohara work. A thousand birds chirping indeed, so loud and blinding was his Chidori, so intense was the heat generate that you could only wonder how in the hell did he have enough Chakra to sustain it as long as he did?

Yet for all that he was a superior nin, and an elite member of Anbu, he was blind. That's right blind. In his arrogance he focused all his attention on the Uchiha, leaving Sakura & Naruto to fend for them selves. Naruto being the blessed individual that he is actually managed to find a Sannin to train him for the Chunin Exams. Even if said Sannin was another pervert and author of all the Icha Icha smut. This left Sakura to fend for her self now granted she was a pain in the ass back then when we were genin.

Part of the Uchiha fan club she never took her Kunoichi lessons to heart. She who was the smartest of all the girls, and who had the best chakra control let all those talents languish while she chased a dream. Not that it's stupid to dream, but why run after a chicken butted hairdo with a personality disorder? So instead of encouraging her to get over her obsession, Kakashi chose to ignore it, just like he ignored her. It was due to Tsunade-Hime taking her as a pupil that Sakura molded into the Kunoichi she is today.

3rd in medical skill and knowledge, it was well known that she would one day pass her mentor. But it wasn't this sudden turn around that made me look at Sakura. You might say although that it was her profession that got me intrigued. As a nin, I like everyone else ended up in the hospital a few times a year. And it was on one of those visits that I started to get acquainted with the new Sakura. She was a medic who had a wonderful bed side manner, but put up with no bullshit.

Indeed, she threatened to have me placed on the inactive roster for a month if I did not follow doctor's orders. That I could have borne. She went too far when she told Hiashi-sama that I could not spar with him, until such a time that she deemed me well enough for light physical activity. As I rounded on the petite kunoichi I could almost swear I heard my uncle chuckle. Too incensed to register the shock I continue to light into Sakura. Well until she lost her patience and flicked me in the forehead with her finger.

I woke up a couple of hours later with Hiashi-sama by my bed, still wearing that queer looking grin. This was a man whose very demeanor said staid, somber and above all proper. Glad to see him finally lightening up, only I wish it wasn't at my expense! After that she won my respect, and better yet I grudgingly gave her my friendship.

Friendship gradually warmed into admiration. Admiration grew into fascination, fascination grew into love. Love joined passion, and understanding. Sakura for the entire world portrayed herself as a bad ass kunoichi. Granted the woman can pulverize a small mountain, and has been known to damage the foundation of a building when angered. In private she was tendered hearted, insightful and possessed a wicked sense of humor. Not things that came out in her everyday life.

In me she saw a tender lover. Something definitely at odds with my normal façade, in public I was the typical Hyuuga stoic yet polite. In work I continued to be the exemplary nin as was expected. And if it burdened my heart to be separated from my love, I bore it patiently and quietly. In private I could haltingly tell her my inner most feelings. I could tell her why although she bore the name of a graceful tree that to me she was much more like the nobara (Japanese Rose). It was a beautiful flower that nature gave a means to protect itself.

Yet for all our discoveries ours was not a courtship of flowers and moonlit dinners. Indeed almost from the beginning our relationship had a somewhat clandestine affair feeling to it. I feared what the Hyuuga clan would say if they knew my intentions, and Sakura well she was trying to live a low-keyed life. Tired of a village that tended to live vicariously through its nin force she wanted to avoid the fish bowl aspect to her love life.

It would be months and many hints later before I got up the nerve to discuss it with my uncle. Imagine my surprise when Hiashi-sama predicted it all that time ago in the hospital. Seems like him and my late aunt got started almost the same exact way. Looking back to the proper lady I had a hard time reconciling her to a hot-headed kunoichi who accused my uncle of having delusions of grandeur.

Finally getting to the topic at hand I stumbled at asking for my mother's ring to gift to Sakura for our betrothal. Once again he seemed to enjoy my discomfort as I talked of marrying Sakura. All that went away when he gave his blessing and wishes for a long and happy life with her.

So it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to returning home. Tonight, yes tonight with any luck I would ask this woman to be mine forever. No more secrets and no more skulking in shadows. Tonight was the night I would proclaim to the world my feelings for my little nobara.

Yet as I got closer to the village, anticipation was soon turned into dread. Something had happened; something really bad had gone down. A ninja's life is filled with feelings, intuitions and split second decisions. A great nin learns never to ignore or discount his gut. Right now my gut was telling me to hurry….words that seemed to echo in the wind that spoke of betrayal and despair. And just like that my tired body caught a second wind and without explanation or word I ran as if the very devil was chasing me. Kakashi could either keep up or fall behind, his choice.

At the gate the first clue that something was wrong was my missing Sakura. Shrugging that off, I rationalized that she must be at the hospital. Sprinting to the hospital at full throttle I skidded to a stop at the receptionist. So startled was the women she fell off her seat. Helping her up I proceeded to ask for Haruno-san. I was pointedly advised that she was on administrative leave and that another medic would do my post mission check up. Pissed and anxious I refused treatment. Let another medic touch me? Were they stark raving mad?

I tried to get the hell out of the hospital but at this point several Anbu had shown up. No matter I would get out of this hospital and find Sakura if I had to tear apart the place and injure a few Anbu in the process. I had just settled down into my 132 trigram palm technique when I heard both Hiashi-sama and Tsunade-sama call my name. Briefly I thought of ignoring them, fortunately sanity returned.

"Neiji, what is the meaning of this? You know the shinobi rules. All missions have to have a physical done at the end. Why are you trying to fight your way out of here?" questioned Tsunade-sama.

"Indeed nephew, I came by to talk to Sakura and noticed you about to instigate a fight. What in the world possessed you to act so aggressively?"

I looked at both of them. How best to answer? "Where the hell is Sakura? I came here for my physical and have been informed she is on a leave. No one will tell me anything regarding her, other than I can have another medic perform my exam." Okay maybe my tone could have been slightly more respectful considering I was addressing the Hokage, but Hokage be damned. My bad feeling had gone from a tickle to a very distinct nudge.

At Tsunade-sama's request we all went to her office. In retrospect it's a good thing she chose to tell us there. I don't think she would have appreciated what came out of my mouth in public.

So after the entire sordid story came out of her mouth, I closed my eyes took a deep breath and prayed for patience.

"So you mean to tell me, that on the word of Yamanaka the village's largest blabber mouth and gossip queen everyone turned their back on Sakura?" came my response forced thru gritted teeth.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about" the disgruntled reply from Nara Shikamaru could be heard. I pivoted to look at him, and raised an eyebrow up. When had he arrived? And playing the innocent game was he? Well time to remind him exactly what the love of his life and apple of his eye was capable of.

"Who was it that upon seeing Kakashi & Iruka together in the jewelry shop told the whole village they were involved and getting married? When it turned out that Kakashi was looking for a ring for Ayame, and Iruka looking for necklace for Anko?

Listen Nara, love the woman but know her faults….you must admit that the majority of the rumors that float around the village either started with Yamanaka or were embellished by her. For the most part, unless it involves a mission she does not think first and speak later. Indeed for the love of gossip she has been known to leave in the middle of a meal.

And unless you came by here personally to tell me that you're secretly in love with Sakura, then once again she has leapt to an incorrect conclusion!"

By the time I got all that out I was panting slightly from the anger, the quiet rage that built up in my gut. Yamanaka is lucky that I observe the rules of the village and would never attack a fellow shinobi. Otherwise she'd be writhing in pain. _Note to self…if Sakura is hurt we are rethinking that._

When I looked into Nara's face I knew the next thing that came out of his mouth was not going to be pleasant. So I braced myself. But how does one truly brace himself to hear bad news….no worse than bad news…

oOooOooOooOooOooOooOooOo

Please Review...that's right the little button down there!!


	4. Chapter 4

Big Girls Don't Cry

**Chapter 4 - Say it right, say it wrong**

"Per your orders Godaime, I went to Sakura's house to see why she didn't show up for training this morning. Nobody answered the door. I then went to the Inoichiban Ginkou of Kohona second to see if Sakura had made any recent withdrawals per your orders. At the Ginkou I encountered the Harunos trying to withdraw the entire balance from the account. Luckily the manager refused to release the monies without the direct consent of the owner. Also Anbu reports a severe chakra spike in the Forest of Death, they fear the worst."

At this I interrupted, manners be damned! "Why would you send Nara to look for Sakura, Hokage-sama? After all, you didn't need her for a mission, or for the hospital and from my understanding being late or missing a training class is no cause for panic."

_Please don't let her say something bad……_

_Please don't open your mouth and remove the last of my hope….._

_Don't my love away….I can't live without her!  
_

When her golden brown eyes met mine, I knew. I positively knew that the next statement out of her mouth was going to cause me to lose control.

"Early this morning Ton Ton found her hiate in my office. Add to that, none of her 'friends' have any knowledge of her whereabouts. The last time anyone saw Haruno Sakura was yesterday afternoon. I am concerned for her mental state of health. But as much as it pains me if she does not come back voluntarily within a week, she will be declared a missing nin."

For a few minutes silence descended onto her office. Most present I'm sure were struggling with the shock that statement instilled. Me? Well I was waging a hidden battle to remain calm. Fuck it…I lost the battle.

"Mmm…missing? How in the world can she be missing when her important people pushed her out? I understand what part Yamanaka and Nara played, but where in the hell were the rest of her friends? What happened to Naruto, Hinata, Tenten, and Lee? How about you Gondaime? You're her mentor…should not have you and Shizune know the character of your pupil?"

With that I turned to leap out the window. Enough of this tomfoolery, I had to find Sakura and quickly. Instincts told me time was running out.

"Hyuuga Neji, I did not give you leave to go and find Sakura. We have Anbu Ops that can accomplish that" Tsunade-sama thundered as she pounded at her desk.

For the first time in my life, I rebelled. I spoke without thinking, consequences be damned. Turning to my Hokage I lifted my right eyebrow up. "That's good Gondaime-sama because I didn't ask. I am going to find Sakura with or without your permission."

"What did you just say to me Hyuuga" was the reply through an obviously clenched jaw. Her gaze swung around to Kakashi and my uncle. "And where do you think you two gentleman are going?"

My uncle and Kakashi just looked at each other and shrugged. "What he said" they replied in unison, and on that note we all disappeared in a flurry of leaves, smoke and wind.

We appeared right by the gates; after all we needed a plan. My gut told me the chakra spike in the Forest of Death had to do with Sakura's disappearance. But what kind of shinobi would we be to run out ill prepared? As we stood there discussing our plan Naruto and Hinata ran up to us.

"You guys, Tsunade-sama is looking for you and boy is she angry! She destroyed her desk and everything! Where are all of you headed? Are you going to look for Sakura-chan?" was the breathless announcement and question that came from the blonde shinobi.

Kakashi leveled his gaze at his student. "Tell me Naruto, why didn't Sakura come to you when she was thrown out her house?"

It was almost too funny to watch the emotions that flashed over Naruto's face before it finally fell. He looked at the ground and started shuffling his feet. "Well you see Kakashi-sensei I was suppose to meet Sakura for lunch that day. But when Ino called Hinata-chan she was so upset! And by the time Hinata-chan hung up she was practically in tears. She excused herself and then came back a while later. That's when she explained that it seemed Sakura-chan was not the innocent sweet Kunoichi we thought she was. And that she and Hiashi-sama agreed that it would be best if I could avoid her for the foreseeable future, at least until everything was straightened out."

"So, choujo how was it that you came to that conclusion? What exact conversation did you have with me, since I was away on family business for the entire week? I am deeply ashamed of the lie you have told Hinata" were the words delivered into the silence that had ascended. Hiashi-sama always did have a way of understating the obvious.

"Hinata" was the bewildered question that Naruto warbled out.

Before anyone could say anything Kakashi once again asked a question.

"Tell me Naruto, what was one of the first lessons I ever taught you?"

I knew that the blonde knew what he was speaking of. The misery and guilt were fairly rolling off of him in waves. Hinata-chan did not look so well off either.

"I'm deeply sorry otousan, I was afraid to lose Naruto-kun. For years he was in love with Sakura, and I thought if she were to return that sentiment that he would realize how much better she was than me. In all of my life he is the one thing that I have wanted, the one thing I strived for. Pushing myself in training so that I could be worthy of him. And with one lie, I have proven myself unworthy."

I ignored her and addressed my uncle and Kakashi "come, we must leave and find Sakura immediately. I have a feeling she is in danger."

"W..We'd like to h..help Neji-san" Hinata softly offered.

"You two have done quite enough. The three of us will find Sakura and bring her back" I snapped out at her.

"Sumanai Neji it was not my intent for things to end like this" and with that she ran away tears falling from her eyes. Poor Naruto looked torn, before Kakashi motioned for him to follow Hinata. Apparently he wasn't ready to deal with the knucklehead right now.

Maybe when Sakura was safe in my arms I could be more sympathetic to Hinata's insecurities, and Naruto's need to feel loved. Right now, I had zero patience and even less tolerance. I was glad that they had run off. A few more minutes and words that would cause irreparable damage would be said. People say they're sorry. But sorry is not a magic word and it's not an erasure. Once spoken words cannot be unspoken, and pain cannot be taken back.

Kakashi bit on his thumb and summoned his Nin pack of dogs. "Pakun, I need to find Sakura. It's a matter of life and death. Spread out and search the forest."

The little dog nodded and barked, the whole pack turned to listen. Once Pakun's explanation had been growled yipped and barked out the dogs quickly disappeared into the forest with their mission utmost in their mind. We wasted no time in following the dogs. My panic seemed to transmit itself to the others. Indeed the memory of Kakashi and Hiashi-sama telling the Hokage that they too weren't asking for permission is one that I will have to take out and review in depth later.

Right now, each beat of my heart, every breeze of the wind seem to scream HURRY! Seconds before we heard Pakun's wail I started running harder. My soul felt as if I didn't move and quickly that I would lose something most important to me.

I skidded to a stop when I saw Anko leaning over a badly injured Sakura. Talk later, action now! And with that I moved to attack. Only Kakashi and my uncle stopping me from snapped me out of attempting to injure the Kunoichi. As she tried to explain to them what happened I dropped to my knees besides Sakura. Kami, she looked like she was at death's door!

"Sakura-chan, wake up! Please sweetheart open up your eyes. You need to stay alert and fight!" I pleaded with her prone form.

Emerald eyes glazed with pain finally blinked open. Tears fell unbidden from her eyes. "You're not real; Neji-chan is on a mission. You're not real, he doesn't love me! He wouldn't come and find me! I'm alone! I'm all alone….so tired of being alone…"

"Every night you cry yourself to sleep, thinking why does this happen to me. Why does every moment have to be so hard? Hard to believe…."

Now I was confused. She doesn't think I'm real. What in Kami's name has been going on? And why was she singing such a haunting tune? I could hear bits of the conversation. Chakra seal, Orochimaru and curse were just some of the things that filtered to me. I activate my Byakugan, and could see some mottled and sickly chakra attached to her. I could see it slowly moving through her chakra coils. Without analyzing it I rapidly hit her chakra points sealing the malignant chakra and not allowing it to move in her body.

Slowly her eyes opened again. I captured the side of her face in my hand using my thumb to trace over her chapped lips. "Sakura, feel me. I'm real, I'm here and I would never abandon the one I love" taking her hand in mine I pressed it over my heart. "Feel my heartbeat itoshii and know that I am here with you. Know that my love for you is true."

She launched herself into my arms and held on for dear life. Even without knowing the how's and why's I could tell she was in great pain. I gently picked her up and began making my way back to the main gate. My uncle stood by my side. Kakashi had gone with Anko and Pakun to review the chakra seal. The Copy-nin's abilities would come in handy for memorizing the kanji written into the seal.

Attentively carrying my precious cargo, I could only pray that the very Gondaime that I had just pissed off could save my Sakura. Gone was the nerves of steel, in their place was a bundle full of worries and self blame. If I had been here would all of this have happened? I turned to my uncle. How in the hell was Orochimaru able to make another curse seal? He's dead; the Uchiha killed him two years ago.

My uncle looked pensive. The answer came from neither my uncle nor Kakashi who has just joined us. Anko looked at Sakura and said softly "Orochimaru's playground was that forest. Anbu Ops has cleaned out a lot of his traps, but some like the one Sakura sprung are only activated by blood and chakra." Seems even though the Snake Sannin is dead he still left one last fuck you.

The negative chakra kept trying to overtake Sakura's body. All we could do is move quicker. Anko went up ahead to prepare the Hokage and the hospital for their patient. Lost in the moment of pure adrenaline and running I almost didn't feel the hand that came up to caress my cheek. So astonished that she was moving voluntarily I stopped.

"You came, you really came for me. I was so afraid. So afraid that I would die in that forest and no one would be the wiser. Arigato for saving me koibito" with that small statement her strength seemed to wane and she went back to sleep.

I looked at my uncle. For the first time in long time I could acknowledge that I was scared. I could say that I was categorically both angry and scared. If she could not be saved, they would have to incapacitate me. For my vengeance would be horrific to witness. Damn that female. Was the blonde ditz so insecure about her intelligence that she had to push aside her best friend?

It seems like a blur arriving at the gates, getting Kura to the hospital and putting her fate in the hands of Tsunade-sama.

They say the hardest part is waiting….they say right. Each moment that passes by without you knowing about your loved one is an eternity. My relief when the Hokage finally emerged from Sakura's room was short lived once I took a good look at her face.

"She's awake and want to speak to you all" she told everyone in the hallway. All of us also included Naruto and Hinata who joined us shortly after we arrived. We filed into Sakura's room quietly and surrounded the bed.

"I'm dying" she spoke without preamble. The foreign chakra in my body keeps replicating itself every single time they attempt to drain it. At this point I have less that a week before it overwhelms me and kills me. Anko and Tsunade have no idea how to break the seal. And we all know Kabuto is dead, so that leaves us with no experts on the matter." Denial, brutally and swiftly came to my lips.

Anko spoke up "Sakura, there is someone who is an expert on curse seals and chakra traps. It's the Kage of Otogakure, Uchiha Sasuke who apprenticed with him for almost three years."

Nobody from this village had been anywhere near Otogakure since the war. Who would be willing to travel there and back? As much as I desired to I had to stay with Kura and keep her tethered to this world and this reality, not the self induced one of the chakra seal.

"I'll go" volunteered Naruto.

"I'll go with him" were the replies from Hinata and Kakashi.

So now the big question was would they make it to the village in one piece and more importantly would the Uchiha help his former teammate?

* * *

**Glossary:**

Choujo – oldest daughter

Sumanai – deepest apologies

Koibito – sweetheart

Otogakure – hidden village of sound

* * *

**As always please review...and sorry for the mix up!!**


End file.
